Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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