I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
