I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
