quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
