There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
