he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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