I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
