New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
