yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
