check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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