My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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