just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
