yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
