I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
