i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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