Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
