Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
