I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
