she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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