I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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