My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize