this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
