Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
