he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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