A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Drunk is not a location!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
