oh god the rape fog is back!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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