You really coming over, don't trick.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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