i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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