id be glad to
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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