ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
