Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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