i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So vagazzling was a success
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
