ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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