Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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