i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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