In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
