I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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