Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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