Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
