i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
