Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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