I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We need to get me chipped asap
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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