I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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