She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
