He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this will be a night to untag.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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