sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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