I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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