Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
