Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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