just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Pants are for mortals
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
