drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
