I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well you can't waste a boner
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
