i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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