i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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