i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
