U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Semen is not good for contacts.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
