Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
