my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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