the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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