Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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