I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
